"Stalagmites And Stalactites"

"Listen" said Coojee, "Why don't I scare you through the wall? Give you a fright?"

"You give me a fright!" cried Sir Jasper. "Stap me vitals! I may not be much of a ghost - but I'm not the sort of coward who will turn and run just like th-Aaaaaagh!", he yelled - and bolted clean through the stonework.

It was Nessie! She had crept up behind Coojee and given the ghost the fright of his life. Two seconds later Sir Jasper was back again.

"I did it, I did it, by Jove! I walked through a wall! Nay - ran! And it didn't hurt a bit, old thing! Oh, thank you, madam - and you, young fellow. I am forever in your debt. How can I ever repay you?"

"Well" said Coojee, "If you really want to help us, you can tell us the way to London".

"London!" cried the ghost, "Nothing easier! Good Lord! Castle Jodhpur has a secret passage that goes direct! Over there!"

And sure enough, there was the entrance to a secret passage.

And so, waving goodbye to the grateful ghost, Coojee and Nessie slowly descended some steep, stone steps into a pitch-dark passage, and from the pitch-dark passage into cold, clanging caverns studded with stalagmites and stalactites.

"Ooh, Nessie" whispered Coojee, "This is a bit spooky".

"If it's giving you the willies, Coojee, maybe we should sing a wee song. It's a well-known way of lifting the spirits - if you'll pardon the expression". And this is the song they sang...

Stalagmites and stalactites,
We all know where they're found
In subterranean caverns
(Another word for underground)

Stalagmites and stalactites
Are spiky like a crown.
With half of them the point points upwards
The other half the point points down.

Stalagmites and stalactites
Just one snag
Keeping track.
Which are 'stalag'
And which 'stalac'.
They're like Tweedledum
And Tweedledee.
How to overcome
This difficultee?

Stalagmites and stalactites,
You can tell them by the sound.
There's stalac with a 'C' for the ceiling,
And stalag with a 'G' for the ground.

Stalagmites and stalactites
Are spiky like a crown.
With Stalagmites the point points upwards.
With Stalactites the point points down!

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