"I'm the skeleton in the cupboard of the ghosts of England,
A great embarrassment to them all.
I'm the one the people mock.
I'm a public laughing stock.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall.
I'm the fellow who lets the side down for the ghosts of England
At ev'ry Annual Phantoms' Ball.
'Cos they all stare at the floor
When I enter by the door.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall.
I try, I try.
Marks for that at least I deserve.
I really let myself go
But at the final mo',
Thinking I'll lose me nose, I lose me nerve
And swerve!
I'm considered a total failure by the ghosts of England
And by the family at the hall.
When I meet 'em on the stair
They pretend that I'm not there.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall!
Through a wall!
Through a wall!
The ghost who cannot walk through a wall!