Lake Bala / Dylan / Blodwyn / "Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!"
"Look you, boyo! Keep it down, will you? Some of us are trying to get some sleep, see?!"
"Nessie!" cried Coojee, "Thank heavens you're safe. But why are you speaking with that funny accent?"
"Funny accent! Listen, koala, -
This is Wales - you're on Lake Bala!
And, you little ignoramus,
Round these parts my name is famous.
From Llandudno to Llanelly -
Mention me - the hush is deathly.
Even have my own Eisteddfod -
Bigger deal than Robert Redford!
Wait a bit - I'm not quite certain,
Maybe I mean Richard Burton.
Goodness, this is getting messy -
Let me call my cousin - Nessie!"
Coojee was amazed - there were two of them!
"Nessie! Thank heavens you're safe. You never said you had a cousin!"
"Did I not? I've half-a-dozen,
Dylan here's my fav'rite one
And rhymes are his idea of fun,
But, listen to who's talking, drat it -
Now he's gone and got me at it!"
"Half-a-dozen!" exclaimed Coojee. "Then that's even more reason to go to Westminster".
"Aye", said Nessie, And I've told Dylan all about that, and he's all for it. He's been called a monster too. But he says we'll have to go back the way we came - we'll never get over those hills".
"Oh dear!" sighed Coojee, "Does that mean going back to sea again and all the way round by Land's End?"
Just then they heard a strange sound from above...
"Glelp! Glelp! Glelp!" gurgled a voice.
"Glelp? What's glelp?" said Coojee.
"Short for glug and help! Now get me out of here before I work my magic and turn you all into some thing even more hideous than you already are!"
"A witch!" cried Coojee, "A real Welsh witch!"
Dylan, who recognised the local hag and knew her powers well, quickly lifted her out of the water and placed her on the toe of the shoe.
"There you are, Blodwyn", he said.
"Bloomin' broom!" she spluttered, "Just had it in for a service, too!"
"Och! A 'broom' service, I suppose?" volunteered Nessie.
"I'll do the jokes," said Blodwyn, -"If and when we need 'em!"
"Does it really fly?" asked Coojee.
"Faster than your old Concorde any day!"
"Aye", said Nessie, But Concorde can carry passengers - which is more than you can".
"Who says!" screamed the witch.
"I'll bet you couldnae carry me and my wee friend over yon mountains".
"Who says!" screamed the witch, even louder. "Just wait till I mend this broom. Oh Dieu! I've left my book of spells at home. Well, well, I'll just have to improvise... Hair of bear" she said, plucking out one of Coojee's whiskers. "Now I need a scale..."
Coojee obliged - "Doh, Re, Me, Fa, Soh, La, Te, Doh!"
"I said I'll do the jokes!" snapped Blodwyn.
"Och, I think she means one of these scales, Coojee", said Nessie, offering one from her tail. "Right, now!" cried the witch, and pointed to the shoelace. "Tie yourselves on with that. Now then... Let me think...
Hair of bear and scale of tail
Speed this broomstick over Wales!"
Nothing happened.
"Hair of bear and scale of tail
Speed this broomstick over Wales!"
Again nothing happened.
Nessie cleared her throat.
"Ahem ... I think this is your cue Dylan. The rhyme doesnae seem to work".
"Glad to make a contribution.
And provide a neat solution!
'Tail' and 'Wales', the rhyme's unsound -
She's got the spell the wrong way round.
Not her fault, she's had a soaking.
Fasten seat belts, please. No Joking!
Hold on tight now, here it comes....
Are you ready? Cue the drums!
Scale of tail and hair of bear
Speed this broomstick through the air!"
"We have lift-off!" they all cried... and as the broom began to soar, the witch began to sing.
"Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
On my broom, broom, broom,
Sky-high, See me zoom, zoom, zoom!
Swooping, soaring, looping loops!
Look, no hands! No feet! No- (Whoops - a - daisy!)
Tee, hee, hee! It's the flying three
Blod Squad! See 'em on T.V!
Starring the lovely you know whom!
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!"
"Wow! Nessie," cried Coojee, "Just look at the view down there!"
"Och! You look for me!" said Nessie.
"Ho, ho, ho
Hear 'em down below
Shout out "IT'S A U F O!"
"Flying Saucer!" says the press.
More like Flying Sorceress! (Ha, ha, ha!)
By my broom, I see Concorde loom!
Steer clear! Give me elbow room!
Wait for the supersonic boom!
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!"
Suddenly they began to lose height.
"Oh, oh! England!" cried the witch. "I forgot. Me broomstick only works over Wales! Bye-ee!" And with a huge pair of scissors she snipped through the shoelace and swept away (on her broom) leaving Coojee and Nessie hurtling downwards over the Herefordshire countryside.
"Yipes!" yelled Coojee, "Is this what they call 'free-falling'?"
"I hope it's free - I'd hate to have to pay for it!"
Now the ground was rushing past beneath them...
"Brace yourself, Coojee! I'll aim for yon river."
And even as she spoke they splashed down....
Nessie dived straight under and Coojee skimmed across the surface like a flat stone.
Coojee skims across the surface"Some - one - stop - me! - Some - one - stop - me! - Some - one - stop - me!"
And off he bounced into the distance...
That night a very weary Coojeebear found himself approaching an old ruined castle. He peered into the moat and called hopefully for Nessie but all he got back were echoes.