Baz Sez...Bald is beautiful, bald is good
Bald has everything that it should
Even sex appeal, touching wood
Be proud to be bald
Bald is glorious, bald is beaut
Why this longing to be hirsuit?
BBC we are - bald but cute
Both proud to be bald
At fancy dress it really comes in handy
We go as (guess) Mussolini, me as Ghandi
Imperturbable, debonaire
Yesterday we had quite a scare
Niether one of us turned a hair
We're proud to be bald
Wigs are ludicrous, wigs are crass
Don't lean over that lovely lass
You'll expose yourself bald as brass
Be proud to be bald
Comes a hurricane have a care
UFHs are everywhere
Unidentified Flying Hair
Be proud to be bald
A bloke we know was knighted at the palace
He bowed too low and heard "rise, sir Telly Savalas"
Hair restorers and all that strife
Strange arrangements that scare the wife
Why be looking like Bruce Forsyth
Be proud to be bald
I was sensitive, I was shy
Couldn't bear to say "hair, goodbye"
Now it's coming out so am I
I'm proud to be bald
Gary Cooper, remember Coop?
Was apparently (here's a scoop)
Gary-baldy beneath his toupe
Be proud to be bald
Was my life dull before my hair got thinner?
Now I've a skull that gets fan mail from Yul Brynner
Make the most of it, give it gloss
Shine and polish it like (if poss)
Sterling silver or Stirling Moss
He's proud to be bald
Bald is going to take an ad
Bald is militant, bald is mad
They don't like it, well, that's too bald bad
We're proud to be bald
Bald is going to make a stand
Have those jokes about bald folk banned
Etc.